no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
