you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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