This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
