Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how can u be prego again
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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