glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
