As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize