tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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