If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
