so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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