well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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