Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
