Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
