I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
