Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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