yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
