you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
