I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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