I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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