I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
