this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
