Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
