direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
is it fun? or sober?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
