my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
