She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
