Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize