I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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