OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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