Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
