I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
