so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
