You can't special order awesome
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
