No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
