people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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