yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
