Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize
