I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
