I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize