No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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