I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
