I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
