its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
