Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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