At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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