i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
