this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
