Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
