Kiss
Puke
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
