what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
