Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
