...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
