I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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