I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
