My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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