And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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