you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
