She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
