The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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