yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
