worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
